When a divorced parent starts dating

"Letting your adult life revolve around your child's is actually very hard on your child." Adult one-on-one interaction is an important ingredient to successful parenting.It allows you time to be a person as well as a parent, to rejuvenate, and to find help and friendship.Many single parents avoid the whole question of dating by devoting all their time outside of work to their children.At first glance, this seems like the "right thing to do" – and it's probably what your children would say they wanted if you were to ask their opinion. "Becoming socially active again is important because it helps free a parent from becoming obsessive about his or her parenting role," writes Vicki Lansky in her .Lovingly reassure them that no relationship will come between you and them. Gray also reminds single parents not to feel guilty about dating."When a single parent wants to go out on a date, often they'll feel guilty that they should spend more time with their children.Now that you're separated or divorced, everything is different.

It's difficult to determine whether it's a sexist reaction or just that Mom is usually the caretaking parent and is expected to maintain the status quo."All a child wants is for their parents to be happy, but an adult has other needs that a child cannot meet." In the short term, you run the risk of burn-out if you don't take some time to care for and enjoy yourself.In the long-run, your lack of social life could make you emotionally dependent on your children, which is unhealthy and stressful for everyone concerned.Your children may see your dates as competition for your love and attention, and it will damage or destroy their fantasies that you and you ex will get back together.Your dating can also reawaken the fears of abandonment they felt when you split up with their other parent.If you don't know any other single parents, a divorce support group is an excellent place to meet some.

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