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And it shouldn’t be a split-second glance; make your intention clear by holding her gaze.

“If she smiles back, she’s probably interested,” says Cage.

“All the good sex toy shops have extensive information on their sites,” she says.

These can be a great way to get a little insight onto the world you’ve just entered. In fact, it’s more than OK, it’s a good thing that you want to be sexual, to explore your sexuality, to feel sexy and flirt and turn people on,” she says.

“This accounts for the abundance of rainbow accessories and weird haircuts amongst the newly out crowd.” To avoid this pitfall, Cage recommends resisting the urge to embrace stereotypically “lesbian” styles of dress and appearance if that’s not wholly “you” once you first emerge on the dating scene.

According to Cage, too many newly out women attach themselves to the first lesbian who crosses their path., a nationally syndicated monthly column, weighs in on the highs and lows of dating at this stage—and offers her advice on how to win at the game of love.In your experience, how do lesbians approach dating in midlife?But if you’re still not feeling confident, no matter what you do, don’t stare, advises Cage: “If you do, she’ll surely think you’re a stalker.” According to Cage, many newly out lesbians often overcompensate when trying to make up for naïveté or lack of experience.“They feel as if they need to belong in the queer world, have queer friends, get the inside joke and be recognized by other queers,” she explains.Just make sure you keep it safe and are straightforward with your partners about your choices.

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