Boundaries aren’t selfish, just as taking time alone to reboot isn’t selfish.
Without these things, we lose ourselves and become fueled by other people.
Dopamine makes you feel good; it creates a simultaneous sense of peace and pleasure. Getting turned on is like a spark that sets a gallon of gasoline on fire, and once it’s on fire, it ain’t easy to put out! This isn’t a post about what the Bible says about the roles of men and women.
Anytime your body experiences pleasure—whether morally “good” or “bad”—the limbic system gets washed in dopamine. I don’t want to give you the impression that it’s to stop, but I’ve often mused that stopping once you’ve started down that path is like trying to cage a lion with string and popsicle sticks. (But be sure the check out the posts on that subject in our archives! For now, you need to know that who God created men and women to be plays out big time in the world of intimacy.
Talking to God is like plugging in the charger to your soul; it needs to happen every day so you don’t run out of juice.
One of the most refreshing ways to reboot is to go to a quiet place – it can be a bedroom, the roof, a mountaintop, or a walk around the block – and pray.If a girl allows a guy access to her body, those hormones we talked about earlier kick in and completely override his better sense.Which is not to say that men are like the Incredible Hulk, unable to control themselves. But God designed him to be intoxicated by one woman’s beauty and then take the lead toward physical intimacy.So a girl, who is designed to be led, can have a really hard time saying “no” over and over (and over! So to recap, putting an end to physical intimacy in a relationship is hard—but not impossible!— because 1) sex (and many things leading up to sex) are addicting, 2) because our hormones were designed to put fuel on the fire, and 3) because we’re often led into intimacy by the guy we’re with.Isn’t part of the joy of going on dates or having friendships so you can share life together?