It is all very complicated - and I am by no means an expert.I have not studied the psychology of children anywhere except in the school of reality.
]First of all, I believe that it is important to remember and acknowledge that all children are this world's most precious resource.
It’s very common for guys with kids to write in their OKCupid profiles: “My kids come first,” or “My daughter is the center of my world! You want a potential mate to know that your life includes the giant presence of a kid or four. Plus, if you’ve gone through divorce or another crisis that landed you as a single parent, you are no doubt concerned about giving your kids extra care and sense of security. But it is even trickier if one or both of the parents put the kids before their partner.
You also want women to know you’re a devoted dad (it’s no secret chicks get hot for guys who are great with kids! It’s no surprise that so many blended families I know struggle with adjusting all parties to a home where everyone is suddenly expected to revolve around the new relationship. One dad I went out with nearly boasted when telling me about a four-month relationship that went sour because his girlfriend did not understand why he’d abruptly leave in the middle of dinner because his tween son would call, upset about some matter with his hockey coach.
In addition to the hurdle of coping with the mother and father no longer being together, you may also have to deal with jealousy on their part - as they may see the attention you receive from their mother as competing with the attention she gives them.
You also have to know that you cannot simply step into a relationship with a woman who has children, and immediately expect the children to like you - it is usually much more of a process, and the duration of that process is directly dependent upon your behavior.
Over cajun food he described what sounds like a remarkably happy suburban childhood headed by parents who enjoyed a 40-year marriage, five kids and two successful careers. It is his face that inspires in me paroxysms of infatuated devotion. In other words, how do you create space for for a potential relationship when kids can be so all-consuming? If you are like the professional moms I know, the pendulum swings way in the other direction — and you’re far more likely to neglect yourself.