The Medieval Rabbi Nissim of Gerona (commonly called Ran) traces it back to the Aramaic word for "calm" (cf.
Targum to Judges ), and elaborates that the main purpose of the shidduch process is for young people to "settle down" into marriage.
Even so, Isaac gained his own impression of her before agreeing to marry her (Rashi, commentary to Genesis ).
However, when Eliezer proposes to take Rebekah back to Isaac in Canaan, he is told by Rebekah's family: "Let us ask the maiden" (i.e., Rebekah).
Regardless of whether proper procedure is followed, this is not the end of the decision - it is believed by Jews that the final say belongs to God, who may have different plans (compare with the match of Jacob and Leah).It's expected that the couple keep the shadchan up-to-date on how the shidduch is going at regular intervals.If the shidduch does not work out, then usually the shadchan is contacted and it is he/she that tells the other side that it will not be going ahead.The prospective partners either date each other or in stricter communities they go to a "bashow" or sit in.A typical bashow scene is that the young man with his parents goes to see the young woman in her house to see if the prospective couple are compatible.on his/her character, intelligence, level of learning, financial status, family and health status, appearance and level of religious observance.