Controlled separation dating

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Bearing a Temporary Separation Coping with a Breakup or Divorce Moving On Community Q&A Separation can mean many things — from divorce to the absence of a loved one during a leave of duty.

Whether you are going through a permanent or temporary separation, you may feel lost to yourself, heartbroken, and disoriented.

Both spouses agree not to date anyone else and to focus exclusively on working to improve the marriage.

For these couples, the marriage separation can be a time to think, to reflect, to analyze, to cool off and calm down, and to take a break from each other.

Couples in this situation often plan to use the separation period to “let the dust settle,” reflect on the marriage, take responsibility for their share of what has happened, and work on individual and joint issues in counseling.

One goal is for the spouses to use their problem-solving skills in counseling to address and resolve the most serious problems before moving back together.

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Until now, couples facing the dilemma of deciding whether or not to stay in an unhappy marriage had three options: individual or couples therapy, separation, or divorce. provides these couples with a fourth option—the Controlled Separation (CS). explains CS and shows how it can be used as a tool to help couples make the best decision for both partners.

In other cases, one spouse or the other may move out on the spur of the moment after an upsetting argument.

The separation is unplanned, and there are no plans for marriage counseling, no guidelines agreed upon about seeing others, and no tentative time-line for the separation. Whether the separation will help or hurt the marriage is unknown in this case.

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