It’s fine (actually, wonderful) to get caught up in a moment, but don’t let that moment turn into a marriage that you do not intend. When I first joined Match.com, I went out on dates with men that didn’t jive at all with what I thought I liked.
Keep some distance so that you can make informed decisions about your future.♦◊♦Seven: Be Open I know what you’re thinking: “First she cautions me to keep some distance and now she wants me to be open? I found myself consistently surprised as I found characteristics and attributes attractive that were not on my radar before.
The following are my suggestions for your ten commandments of dating after divorce.
One: Your “Must Haves”Take some time to generate this list; do not assume what it contains.
You may be surprised to realize that there are aspects of your ex that you want again or perhaps characteristics that were not important before but are now.
For me, my ex was never a match for me physically (I’m not talking about intimacy here; we were an excellent match in the bedroom).
I also wanted someone for whom fitness and exercise was a way of life, not just an opportunityto cinch in the belt a bit.
I knew that I wanted someone that would join me on a run or meet me at the gym.), form a social group at the gym…it doesn’t matter how you address your social needs, just don’t put the weight of them at the feet of your dates.♦◊♦Nine: Have an Outlet Ever feel angry at your situation? You get to explore and question, as you see the world in new ways.Don’t forget to laugh and enjoy yourself along the way.It’s exciting and it feels so good to have that feeling reawaken after you may have been fearing its death. Be open and willing to investigate these new alternatives.Remember that this feeling is temporary, as the hormones fade back to normal levels, that initial rush will fade too. Enjoy the rush when it happens, but maintain enough distance that your rational brain has time to communicate its thoughts to you as well. But keep some distance so that you can check with yourself to make sure that you do not deviate too far from the true you.If I entered the dating arena with a closed mind, sure of what I liked, I would have never have met those men and learned those lessons.